


Reflection of a Man

by pidgeongue



Category: Hannibal (TV)
Genre: Autistic Will Graham, Fluff, Hannibal Lecter Loves Will Graham, M/M, Trans Character, Trans Male Character, Trans Will Graham, Will Graham Loves Hannibal Lecter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-24
Updated: 2021-01-24
Packaged: 2021-03-15 04:27:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,815
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28932501
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pidgeongue/pseuds/pidgeongue
Summary: Will has a hard time with mirrors.It was easier to avoid them when he lived alone with his dogs, Turning around while he brushed his teeth, staring harshly at his hands as he washed them. avoiding himself, the reflection he knew was waiting just above the tap, wasn't too much of an inconvenience. Now, it was all he could think about.
Relationships: Will Graham/Hannibal Lecter
Comments: 5
Kudos: 63





	Reflection of a Man

Will has a hard time with mirrors. 

He had always had a hard time with mirrors, but now especially did they bother him. It was easier to avoid them when he lived alone with his dogs, Turning around while he brushed his teeth, staring harshly at his hands as he washed them. avoiding himself, the reflection he knew was waiting just above the tap, wasn't too much of an inconvenience. Now, it was all he could think about.

Hannibal takes pride in appearance, so it was no surprise to see mirrors in almost every room of the house they now lived together in. At first Will could handle it, just averting his gaze from that specific wall or corner, but he began to notice that the house almost seemed to be... reflective. Polished granite counter tops, glass wiped free of any dust or grime, an immaculate glow that left an artificial feeling. Soon, he was running out of places to look where he could not somehow see himself. Even the floors, hardwood, looked back when he looked down at them. It had been a couple of months since he and Hannibal had "settled down" here, and the visions of himself on every surface were beginning to get to him.

Now, he was lying in his bed, unmoving in the dark. This had become his routine for the past week, regardless of how exhausted he was. He was grateful Hannibal had given him his own bed, and room for that matter. He wasn't sure he wanted Hannibal to sleep next to him, at least not yet. He thought to himself about how he could tell Hannibal he didn't like seeing himself in every wall, floorboard, table, plate. But he knew Hannibal would ask why. It wasn't like he could avoid this forever, he hadn't been taking his testosterone since he moved here and he noticed his figure was becoming more feminine. Resting his face in his hands, he sighed. He almost wanted to get up right then, walk into Hannibal's room and come out to him. He laughed to himself, imagining confessing like a child who just pissed the bed, and did his best to push those thoughts out of his mind. He turned his head to the clock on his nightstand, straining to read it in the dark.

3:36

Will closed his eyes, trying to get some sleep.

* * *

He woke up to the smell of fish and eggs cooking. Wiping the drool from his face, he sat up and stretched his arms. I'm going to tell him, Will thought to himself as he groggily got out of bed. He slipped on pants and a shirt before he made his way to the kitchen.

It was only when he left his room that his mind began racing. The counter tops, shining with the lights above them, didn't help much either. He dreaded being able to see himself in the glasses they drank from, but did his best to ignore this as he continued onward.

"Good morning, Will." Hannibal said as Will entered the room. The smell of breakfast had Will salivating as he sat down, waiting for Hannibal to deliver his latest creation to him. 

"Smoked salmon omelette with goat cheese and beet relish", Hannibal explained as he placed the dish in front of Will. He carried his own plate to the other side of the table where he sat, "Something a little different this morning" he said with a wink. They had been feeding off of Francis for the most part, so it was refreshing to be served something else. Will smiled to himself as he took his first bite, almost forgetting all of his anxieties as he ate. Hannibal loved to watch Will enjoy the food he made, more than anyone else. To watch Will so ravenously indulge himself on something he had made for him had Hannibal particularly pleased. 

"How did you sleep last night?" The older man broke the silence, looking into Will's eyes in a way he knew would bother him. Will looked up, but just as quickly averted his gaze. The question made Will wonder if Hannibal knew how long he had been awake, if he had seen how much he had sweat last night as he lay staring at the ceiling. He peeked back up at Hannibal's face, and reassured himself that Hannibal was just asking a normal question. Breaking the ice. It didn't matter anyways, it's not like he was going to lie.

"Not well, to be entirely honest." He almost muttered, now picking around the food left with his fork. Suddenly he wasn't hungry anymore, and a nervous pit had begun to form in his stomach.

"I need to tell you something."

Hannibal perked up, listening intently for Will's next words. He need not say anything, only replying by resting his utensils. 

"I... have a really hard time handling mirrors. And, reflections, and seeing myself reflected in things." He stuttered out, disjointed and rushed, "And it seems like everything in this house has a damn reflection." 

His eyes moved to his glass, seeing his own face tinted orange from the juice inside. He cringed at it, and snapped his gaze back to his plate. Hannibal, as expected, remained unphased. Almost like he was waiting his turn to react.

"It is common in autistic individuals to see an avoidance of mirrors," Hannibal paused, taking a sip from his own glass, "being unable to recognize one's self in the mirror is quite a frightening thought-"

"No, no, it's not that," Will interrupted, shifting uncomfortably in his seat, "Well not entirely anyways..."

He sighed, relaxing his back against the chair and looking up at the ceiling, before returning Hannibal's gaze.

"I don't like looking at myself when I'm like this. When I'm..." Will searched for the words in his head, "I'm not myself." He chuckled lightly, "Guess that's what not being on testosterone for a month does to you."

Hannibal's face did not move, but his eyes glistened with understanding. He had gotten the point, and he sat back in his chair. 

"And this is making it harder to deal with reflections, correct?" There was a professionalism to his voice, sounding almost clinical. Will felt like he was in therapy again.

"Yes." He mumbled, leaning back over his plate to play with his food again. He did eventually take another bite, but not before pushing the remains of the omlette around with his fork. 

Hannibal stood up from his chair and walked towards Will. Almost instinctively, Will stood up as well, inches away from the other. The tension was tangible between them, Will not quite knowing what Hannibal's next move would be. Their breath was disjointed, Hannibal's calm and consistent while Will's was quicker, almost frightened. Will had seen such a large range of reactions that he didn't know what exactly to expect.

After what seemed like forever, Hannibal embraced Will, pulling the younger man deep into a hug. Hannibal had hugged Will before, but never with such tenderness, his hands rubbing slowly against Will's back. Will had never noticed how warm Hannibal was before now, and he allowed himself to be engulfed in it. 

"Thank you for telling me, Will." Hannibal pulled himself away from the embrace, smiling softly as he spoke. "It makes sense now, looking back on it. How you avoided undressing in front of me."

Will blushed and laughed, "Well, I didn't know how you would react. But now that you mention it," his voice took on a deeper tone, "I guess I'll have to undress in front of you more often." He ended the sentence with a wink, grinning devilishly at Hannibal. The older man's eyes darkened, sliding his hands over Will's sides slowly and deliberately. Will stifled a groan in the back of his throat before slowly moving forward, getting closer and closer to Hannibal's face until finally, their lips collided.

At first it was tender, soft sounds coming from their skin as they kissed, but soon it became much rougher. Will's mouth seemed to fall open when Hannibal pressed his tongue against Will's lips. In this moment, Will was being devoured, and enjoying every second of it. Hannibal's hands rose from Will's sides, finding themselves beginning to undo Will's shirt. Normally, he would have protested, but now he was all Hannibal's in both body and spirit. Once his shirt was undone entirely, Hannibal ran his thumbs over Will's chest, the scars smooth in comparison to the rest of his hairy skin. Such a tender touch surprised Will, who made a soft, pleased noise into Hannibal's mouth.

Hannibal was the one to pull back first, admiring his handiwork. Will panted, worked up and hot, mouth left open with a thin line of spit still connecting them. He smiled at Hannibal and rested his hand against the other's cheek, stroking his face with his thumb. Hannibal leaned into the touch, cocking his head to press against Will's hand. There was an unspoken acknowledgement of just how long it had taken them to get to this point, and how much this meant to both of them. Hannibal's face warmed against Will, but never did he blush. His eyes were relaxed, taking in all of Will as he was before him. 

Will, on the other hand, was completely flushed. No one had ever seen him like this. He was vulnerable, but instead of feeling afraid, he felt comforted as Hannibal's eyes raised to meet his. He could not help but smile warmly at him, before guiding him into another kiss, brief and light. He wanted to continue, of course, and knew Hannibal would love nothing more than to carry him into his bedroom. But he felt like he needed time to let everything else settle. He didn't want to overwhelm himself, or Hannibal for that matter. He pulled away at last.

"I love you, Hannibal" Will whispered, kissing Hannibal on the cheek.

"I love you too, Will" Hannibal replied, just as quiet. It was clear Hannibal wanted more, but he didn't want to make Will uncomfortable. Coolly, he brushed past Will to take his plate before he grabbed his own. He walked back to the kitchen to clean up, leaving the other standing in the dining area awkwardly.

He turned to leave, but before he could, he caught a glimpse of himself in the grandfather clock, standing tall against the wall. He sighed, looking at his features. It had been a long time since he really _looked_ at himself. He did notice now, though, that he was not as bothered by his own eyes looking back at him. By his face, jawline less striking than usual. By his stubble, becoming weak and almost patchy. It was the reflection of a man, regardless of the circumstances. 

He returned to his room with that thought on his mind.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!  
> This is my first fic, so any feedback is appreciated! Questioning writing more chapters but we'll see ;)  
> "Always Forever" by Cults was a big inspo for this!!


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